Conversations that never happened!
Given the high school preparation of many students, we have to assume that some high school seniors believe certain conversations regularly occur behind closed doors in admissions offices around the country. Now, with the help of sophisticated technology and hidden microphones and after reviewing hundreds of hours of admissions conversation . . . we can report with absolute certainty that the following conversations have never occurred within an admissions office or on the campus of a top tier college. Revealed here for the first time, these are the secret admissions conversations that never happened . . . ever. If you’re a high school senior and you actually think they sound reasonable then you need to get a grip . . . and a new attitude!
Conversation #1
A light snow is falling on the Williams College campus in western Massachusetts this winter afternoon. Many students consider Williams the nation’s top college so two admissions officers are preoccupied with their work as they hurry to lunch at a warm café . . .
Admissions Officer #1 : I’ve been thinking about that girl from Illinois who we rejected this morning. Maybe we made a mistake?
Admissions Officer #2 : Are you kidding? Her grades were pretty good but nothing special. Her SAT’s were okay but the verbal could have been better. Her English teacher said that she was very bright but just didn’t bother to apply herself in class. And her soccer coach said that while he had rarely seen a kid with so much natural ability, she didn’t bring her ‘game’ more than a couple of times all season!
Admissions Officer #1 : Yeah, but think about what you just said. The English teacher and soccer coach both agree that she has a ton of potential.
Admissions Officer #2 : You know, I never thought of it that way! I mean she probably had a BFF in her English class. What’s she supposed to do, think about what Shakespeare wrote 400 years ago or what’s gonna happen at homecoming next week! And her soccer games were early Saturday morning. She was probably exhausted from texting till 2 AM every Friday night ‘cuz she’s so popular. Of course she was tired in the AM!
Admissions Officer #1 : That’s what I mean! Just because she didn’t do anything special in high school doesn’t mean she won’t buckle down and become a star here.
Admissions Officer #2 : Absolutely! I’ll change the file and send out the acceptance letter when we get back. I think I’m having the cheeseburger today what about you?
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