Myth #8
“I’m in High School and I know kids who have been working on college stuff with their families since they were in Middle School. I’ll never catch up to them.”
First, it’s simply not true. Second, the kids who start working on college issues too early have more trouble not less. No student should wait until the last minute to begin preparing for the college admissions process. That’s guaranteed trouble. But starting too early can also be a problem!
Have you ever been warned that too much of a good thing can be trouble. I’m here to tell you that it’s true in general and it’s especially true when it comes to eating hot fudge sundaes or preparing for college. There are several reasons why pushing a student to begin the process too early is a bad idea but let’s just focus on the worst aspects of that misguided strategy.
Whenever I begin this discussion with parents of 10 year olds who, through every good intention, have begun the process too early, I always seem to have someone speak up and say “We’ve been working with our fifth grader and it seems to be going just fine!” Well, it’s a little bit like the reporter interviewing the man who jumped off the top of the Empire State Building. The reporter leans out the window at the 10th floor and asks him how it’s going and the man responds “pretty good so far!”
Alright, why is it a bad idea to start too early? Well, first, your student probably isn’t interested so it’s going to be more work than fun and this process goes best when it’s a least a little bit enjoyable. Second, by starting too early, you increase the risk that they’ll “burn out” on the process at exactly the time you want them to get serious about college preparation. Okay . . . where’s the Dad who always stands up and shouts, “Tiger Woods has been playing golf since he was 3” . . . I know, I know, but that example is most notable as an exception not as a rule! A more apt analogy for college admissions is probably Michael Jordan who didn’t become interested in basketball until High School, didn’t make the varsity team as a Freshman . . . but managed to do okay in the basketball career that followed.
Those issues aside, by far the most dangerous risk is one that no parent can do anything about. There’s simply an enormous gap between your world from 14 - 17 and your world from 10 – 13. That’s why they put those students in different schools. That’s why the movie theatre has PG-13 and R. That’s why you call the police if a 17 year old tries to date your 11 year old. And that’s why we have child labor laws.
The brains of younger kids work differently than those of older kids. They’re more comfortable with tangible and have a much tougher time with abstract. What’s that mean? It means that young kids want to “pick” a college not begin an exploration process. The average 6th Grader has a much easier time picking their favorite college than the average High School Senior. Now try to remember some of the choices you made in 7th Grade. Would you still live with those choices, dress like that, decorate your room like that? Okay, we’ll put the Cindy Crawford poster up in your living room tomorrow, right after we listen to some ABBA tunes and buy some new bell bottoms. You absolutely don’t want your 12 year old making too many long term life decisions and you certainly don’t want them choosing their favorite college.
That said, I’ll offer one caveat. I don’t suggest you go around the house blocking out any college references in magazines because you happen to have a Middle Schooler at home. Simply be aware and exercise common sense. Think about what languages they take in Middle School, certainly encourage good grades and strong study skills. Let them pursue sports that interest them but above all . . . be reasonable. Success in college admissions has a lot to do with good timing. The student who began working on college admissions issues in Middle School doesn’t have an advantage in the long term. They may even find themselves at a disadvantage because they adopt some inappropriate habits and potentially make several bad decisions. Ignore the warnings of your overbearing friends and neighbors; relax and let your kids be kids. The beginning of high school is also a great time to begin the college exploration process.
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